Brat
DemonSpawn
Date:
17/10/2004
The spoilt child stalked into the breakfast hall. No-one looked at him. None of his siblings particularly liked him. They all thought him rather arrogant and in possession of many extremely large delusions of grandeur.
He in turn thought that they were better off somewhere else, anywhere but on his plane of existence. He knew they laughed at him behind his back, but he put it down to their misunderstanding of his plan for life. He had one, but none of them took him seriously. And it really pissed him off.
He considered various methods of making them see the error of their ways whilst scanning the room for an available morsel. One of the qualities that definitely did not endear him to his family was his gluttonous appetite. He ate anything. Even leftovers from others' plates, if he considered them tasty enough, which was just about everything.
The brat's name was Jehovah – a suitably disgusting name (the other gods thought) for a disgustingly fat, pimply and unsociable pubescent deity.
He had only been around for a couple of centuries, but he was certainly getting the hang of the delegation part of his job. He managed to make use of not only his own servants to do his bidding, but frequently managed to commandeer various of his siblings' less devoted retainers for menial tasks. This was another of those habits that made the other deities occassionally consider the possibility of deicide. Even the most benevolent ones.
Jehovah finished off another plate of leftovers at a second table. It was late, as usual. This didn't really bother him, though. The meal was served and finished off, but the servants wouldn't clear the remains for a while yet, and so he had plenty to munch on. Besides, he preferred to get up late to avoid those more aggressive parts of his family. They gave him indigestion.
Anyway, today was the day he would begin to put his plan into action. He had plotted for too long, and eventually he had come up with perfect way to steal all the food. He had decided to proclaim himself the only diner in the restaurant. It wouldn't be too hard, since those who served his family, those mortals, they would believe anything you told them, and accept it with flagellations and sometimes even sacrifices. He licked his lips. But sacrifices were not really his thing – he was above that, way too civilised. He liked to flout this in front of gods like Kali and those stupid Morrigan bitches. They annoyed him in a way that only a continually buzzing fly you can't get to may irritate a mortal. Always flying around screaming like that. Someone should put a stop to it. He thought he may just starve them first.
Obviously he couldn't just take over the dining hall just like that. Not after being a scavenger for so many ages. No, he would do it in stages. Slowly. Carefully. So that none of the others would notice until it was too late. Until they were all dying for lack of food, lack of souls.
He shivered in anticipation, and the many layers of fatty stuff that constituted his bulk shivered with him. A wave in a small pool, rippling back and forth against itself. Oh yes, it would begin today. Quietly. Carefully, he would convert every living mortal creature to his will. It would be almost too easy. He had been studying those mortals for some time now, and there was one thing that bound them together. One trait that made them all the same, despite their many different places of origin, races, languages, cultures. These were all superficial features of the same brand of meat. Deep down, they were all made the same. And the thing that made them all the same was this stupidly constant need for reassurance that there was something bigger and better that would look out for them when they got themselves into shit.
He could give them their need. He had a convincing plan. And what was more, he had the best story ever. It sounded catchy, something that their pea-brains wouldn't forget easily. Something that could be chanted by the zealots. But also could be used as a litany for the more common-or-garden variety. Something that was so universal it was almost perfect. Yes, actually, it was perfect. It went: I am the Way, the Truth, and the Light.
To be continued...
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